A Week in the Driver's Seat
by Shadowskeeper
Summary: What happens when the Nerima Wrecking Crew are up for their drivers licenses? General mayhem is all. Its writen in script format but still an ok read. May rewrite


A Week in the Driver's Seat  
  
All characters portrayed are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. The characters are being used without permission but please do not sue me. I have nothing to sue for.  
  
Part 1: The Letter  
  
Another beautiful day takes place in the small district of Tokyo known as Nerima. The birds sing a sweet spring song, the sun shines it's warm light down onto the awaiting soil.  
  
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!  
  
And flight Ranma makes its scheduled departure from the Tendo residence. Reaching the apex of his flight pattern he soon begins a descent that ends in the Koi pond.  
  
Ranma-chan: What was that for you kawiikune tomboy? It's not my fault that your cooking is banned in thirty-six countries!  
  
A very angry Akane approaches the sopping wet girl, pet piglet cradled in the crook of one arm glaring daggers. In her other hand is a very large, very menacing mallet.  
  
Ranma-chan: Uh ah Akane? What are you going to do with that mallet?  
  
At the front of the house Kasumi takes in the mail sorting it out as she heads to the family room.  
  
Kasumi: Nabiki gets the bills, a letter for Mr. Saotome from Auntie Nadoka, and hmm.  
  
Kasumi walks into the family room. Soun and Genma are locked in their perpetual game of shoji, Nabiki is at the table going over her 'black book,' and from outside the sounds of what seems to be a person being tortured are heard.  
  
Nabiki: Mail. Great. Anything interesting sis?  
  
Kasumi: Not really but there is a letter for Akane and one for Ranma too.  
  
Nabiki raises an eyebrow. Then she shrugs and turns back to her notebook. A moment later a still fuming Akane walks back into the house and sits at her spot at the table.  
  
Kasumi: Here Akane you and Ranma both received letters from your school. They are from Miss Hinako.  
  
Ranma: (still dripping from the teakettle) Hinako-sensei? What is it a challenge?  
  
Akane puts down the small black piglet in her arms and reads through the letter.  
  
Akane: It's an application to a class that she is teaching this weekend.  
  
Ranma: Why would anyone want to go to school on the weekend?  
  
Akane: It's a driver's ed. class dummy. It says, 'If you want to sign up you should do it soon, space is limited.' What do you think Ranma?  
  
Ranma: Why do I need a license? Not like I am going to go anywhere really.  
  
Genma suddenly appears behind Ranma's back.  
  
Genma: Ranma. As Akane's fiancé it is your duty to be able to drive her where she needs to go. And for that you need a driver's license.  
  
Ranma: (yelling) Why would I want to drive a kawiikune girl like her around for!  
  
Genma: How dare you speak of your fiancée that way! You complain like a girl!  
  
With those words Genma grabs Ranma's shirt and throws him into the koi pond. He then stands outside with tears in his eyes.  
  
Genma: Woe that I am cursed with such a son. Ranma! You bring dishonor to your father. With all I- growlf?  
  
Where once stood a stocky martial artist now stands a large soaking wet panda.  
  
Ranma-chan: (holding a now empty bucket) You were saying old man?  
  
Genma-panda: [Why you]  
  
The two begin a fight that goes almost unnoticed by the members of the Tendo family being that such occurrences were now as common as the sun rising.  
  
Chapter 2: The Class  
  
Ranma and Akane are walking to Furikan High School in their usual manner. The 'usual manner' meant that Ranma was on the fence top, Akane was on the sidewalk, and the two of them were arguing.  
  
Ranma: It's not like I asked her to come along you know! She decided to come along.  
  
Akane: Well maybe if you hadn't gone off to spend time at Ucchan's and told Ukyo that we were going today! It's none of my business if you want to spend time with her. It's not like our engagement means anything, right?  
  
Ranma: You are so kawiikune!  
  
Ranma and Akane walk the rest of the way there in silence; occasionally sneaking glances at each other when the other one isn't looking. When they reach the classroom, Ranma is suddenly assaulted by a well-endowed purple blur.  
  
Shampoo: Airen! You happy to see Shampoo yes?  
  
Ranma: Shampoo what are you doing here?  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo hear Ranma going to take class for driving. Shampoo help airen.  
  
Ranma suddenly jerks up as a knife embeds itself into the floor where his head had been. Mousse stands in the hallway hands in his robes and eyes blazing.  
  
Mousse: Saotome Ranma! How dare you lay your filthy hands on my Shampoo. For such an insult you will die!  
  
Mousse pulls from his robe an enflamed-throwing weapon and prepares to hurl it at Ranma. As he raises up his hand, however, the flame is placed near a smoke detector, which causes the sprinklers to activate. The resulting shower leaves two wet girls, a wet cat with bells and an enraged glasses wearing duck. From the stairs come Ukyo and Ryoga who stare at the wet group. Ranma suddenly notices Shampoo and takes off running.  
  
Akane: It's going to be a long couple of weeks.  
  
{A few weeks later}  
  
Sweat formed at Ranma's brow. The battle had not even begun and he was already beginning to feel weak in the knees. He looked around him. Ukyo and Akane looked as though they were prepared to meet this new challenge as did Mousse. He preferred not to look at Shampoo for fear of sudden glomping. He looked in vain for the one person who would probably be in the same position he was in, but Ryoga was nowhere to be found. Most likely he was lost again. Ranma looked up as Hinako sensei brought forth their opponent.  
  
Hinako sensei: (in child form) You have forty minutes to complete this test which will allow you to begin actual driving instruction. There are thirteen questions so you should all have enough time. I will hand them out now.  
  
The tests are passed out and the group begins to look over the exam. Ranma looks even more worried.  
  
Hinako sensei: Now where is my timer? (she opens the closet door and screams when Ryoga falls out) Happo go yen satsu!  
  
The start of the absorption triggers Miss Hinako to grow from her small girl form to a full grown, fully filled out woman. She stops however before Ryoga is completely drained.  
  
Hinako sensei: Mr. Hibiki, just what are you doing in the storage closet?  
  
Ryoga: (Slightly weak and out of breath) Sorry sensei, I was looking for the pencil sharpener and I got a bit lost.  
  
Ryoga takes his seat and the test begins in earnest.  
  
{Thirty eight minutes later}  
  
Hinako sensei: Two minutes left students. Put down your final answers.  
  
Ranma and Ryoga look up with worried expressions on their faces. Ryoga fills out the last three questions and looks at Ranma who still has seven left to do.  
  
Hinako sensei: Thirty seconds. (the transformation begins to wane)  
  
Ranma: Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire Attack!  
  
Ranma struggles as he finishes his test in the final seconds. He puts down his pencil with a slam and his head soon follows the pencil.  
  
Ukyo/Mousse/Akane: Baka.  
  
Chapter 3: And Then There Were Five  
  
The entire Ranma crew (even Ryoga) is standing in front of Furikan High School.  
  
Akane: Amazing that you made it here Ranma.  
  
Ranma: Hey! I passed the test!  
  
Akane: Only by one question! Baka!  
  
Ranma: Uh you are SO kawiikune!  
  
*SLAM*  
  
Ukyo: Ranchan you should have ducked.  
  
Mousse: Hmm? You say something Shampoo?  
  
Shampoo: Stupid Mousse leave Shampoo alone.  
  
Unseen by the arguing group another small group of men pull up in three cars.  
  
Man #1: Um excuse me?  
  
Akane: Ranma you are such a jerk.  
  
Shampoo: (latching onto Ranma) Akane no say mean things about Shampoo's Airen!  
  
Ukyo: What are you talking about Ranchan is MY fiancé!  
  
Man #1: Kids?  
  
Shampoo: Spatula-girl go play with cross-dressing waiter leave Ranma to Shampoo.  
  
Ryoga: Ranma! How dare you flirt with other women right in front of Akane!  
  
Mousse: Saotome get your hands off my lovely Shampoo!  
  
Ranma: Hey wait a minute!  
  
Men: EXCUSE US!  
  
The group finally notices the three me behind them.  
  
Man #1: Thank you. I am Mr. Hiroshi, this is Mr. Meyan and that man over there is Louie*.  
  
The group looks over the three gentlemen and falls silent.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Now what do you say we try a quick trial to see how much you know on your own. (he checks a clipboard) Now the first name on my list is a Hibiki, Ryoga. Now why don't you get in the car with Louie and we will see how you do.  
  
Ryoga: Yes, sensei.  
  
Ryoga gets into the car with Louie and makes his predriving adjustments starts off. The car turns out of the parking lot and out of sight. An hour passes, then two. Mr. Hiroshi and Mr. Meyan sweat drop.  
  
Mr. Meyan: Uh I think class is done for today. Meet here tomorrow, same time, and we will divide you into groups.  
  
With that the group of Martial Artists headed home.  
  
*Author's note: Louie was the name of my driving instructor and he made the experience A LOT of fun so please bear with the name.  
  
Chapter 4: Driving is Fun  
  
Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Mousse, and Ukyo are sitting outside the High School once again looking at the two remaining instructors in front of them, nothing had been heard from Louie or Ryoga. Mr. Meyan has a clipboard in his hand and is making some marks on it.  
  
Mr. Meyan: Ok now we are going to separate you according to last names. Since you three have yours listed here Ms. Tendo, Ms. Koji, and Mr. Saotome will be with Mr. Hiroshi and Shampoo and Mousse will be with me. Now lets get you to your cars.  
  
The divided groups shuffle off towards their assigned cars. Shampoo grumbling and Mousse and Ukyo smiling ear to ear.  
  
Mr. Meyan stands in front of his car. Clipboard in hand he gestures to his two charges.  
  
Meyan: Who will start?  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo will. Shampoo is best fighter in village so will also be best driver.  
  
Mr. Meyan: Ok then why don't you get in the driver's seat then?  
  
Shampoo: OK. (she tries to open the door but it is locked) Door stuck. Not problem.  
  
With a quick jerk Shampoo rips the door off its hinges. Smiling she steps inside and pulls the door so it jams in the opening, closing the open door.  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo ready to begin.  
  
Mr. Meyan Face faults and Mousse nervously rubs the back of his head before he spots an incredibly interesting ant hill on the side walk and drops his head for a closer look.  
  
Back at Mr. Hiroshi's car Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo prepare for their first lesson.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Miss Koji, why don't you start.  
  
Ukyo: Okay sugar.  
  
The group piles in the car and Mr. Hiroshi starts looking around the seat.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Hmm that's odd, I could have sworn I left my clipboard in here. Miss Koji, start the car while I look for it.  
  
Ukyo nods and turns the key in the ignition. Nothing happens. Everyone looks confused. Ukyo tries again and a sound like someone imitating a car engine emanates from the front of the car. Ukyo pops the hood and everyone gets out to see what the problem is.  
  
Tsubasa: Ukyo! My love! I am here for you!  
  
Ukyo: Tsubasa! How dare you impersonate my driver's education car! (with a flick of her wrist Ukyo brandishes her battle spatula and launches Tsubasa into orbit)  
  
Tsubasa: Farewell!  
  
Ranma and Akane look at each other and sigh deeply. It was going to be a long day.  
  
After a quick search of the parking lot, Mr. Hiroshi's car is found and Ukyo gets in the driver's seat, Akane and Ranma take their places in the rear seats of the car.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Ok now lets begin.  
  
Back at Mr. Meyan's car, Shampoo has finished her run. Mr. Meyan is still in the passenger's seat gripping onto the dashboard for dear life.  
  
Shampoo: Sensei? Shampoo did good, yes? (she smiles sweetly)  
  
Mr. Meyan: Is it over? (he glances behind him)  
  
As far as the eye can see behind them are overturned mailboxes, floored pedestrians and at least one car that was run off the road. Mousse is sitting in the back clutching the seat in front of him, glasses up on his forehead.  
  
Mr. Meyan: (getting out of the car and kissing the ground) Thank you Thank you Thank you. (wiping his brow) Ok, Mr. Mousse why don't you give it a try then.  
  
Mousse: Yes sir.  
  
Mousse gets out of the car and takes a deep breath. Shampoo and Mr. Meyan get back into the car, Mr. Meyan holding the door open for Shampoo.  
  
Mousse: This is my chance to prove to Shampoo that I can do something well. She will be so impressed that she will fall into my arms.  
  
Mousse opens the car door and sits in the seat.  
  
Mousse: That's odd, where are the pedals and wheel? (he looks to the side) Sensei what happened?  
  
Mr. Meyan looks back with a depressed look on his face at Mousse who had accidentally gotten into the back seat instead of the front seat. Next to him Shampoo looks a bit angry at being mistaken for the elderly male instructor and decides to relieve it on Mousse's face. With a strong right, Mr. Meyan's care in preserving his door is put to waste as Mousse takes the door with him on his short flight.  
  
Back with the other group.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Very good Ms. Koji. Now pull over here and we will let Ms. Tendo give it a try.  
  
Ukyo gently pulls the car over and she and Akane switch places. Akane closes the door and starts out.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Ok Ms. Tendo, let's try a right turn at this next block. (Akane makes the turn) Very good, now a left there. (left turn) Well done.  
  
In the backseat Ukyo stares at Ranma as he gazes out the window.  
  
Ukyo: Hmm. Ranchan and I are all alone in the backseat of a car. This could be my chance to get him to commit to me and dump those other two. Now I just have to make my move.  
  
Ukyo: Ranchan? (she puts on her sweet innocent look)  
  
Ranma: Eh? What's up Ucchan?  
  
Ukyo: (scooting over) You know what young couples do in the backseat of cars?  
  
Ranma: Gulp. (Ranma warily looks from the window to Ukyo who now has a hungry smile on her lips) U..Ucchan?  
  
Akane: Hmm. I am really doing well at this. I bet Ranma is impressed. This might be one thing I am better at then him.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Good Ms. Tendo, now change lanes and don't forget to check your mirrors.  
  
Akane: Yes Sensei.  
  
Akane checks her rearview mirror just in time to see Ukyo latch onto Ranma. A neutron bomb suddenly went off in Akane's brain. The resulting energy from the blast flows from her head to her arms, then down to her hands and forms a mallet.  
  
Akane: RANMA!  
  
Akane jumps into the back seat and begins to pummel Ranma. Mr. Hiroshi begins to panic as the car spirals out of control.  
  
Mr. Meyan's car  
  
Mousse is behind the wheel of the car, finally. Shampoo and Mr. Meyan are very relaxed. Mousse makes a perfect stop at a light.  
  
Mr. Meyan: Mousse you are a superb driver just one more block and we can be back at the school.  
  
Mousse: Yes sir.  
  
A car full of teenage boys pulls up next to Mousse and the four of them start leering at Shampoo.  
  
Boy #1: Hey babe, why not blow off those two and come with us?  
  
Boy #2: Y'think that's her natural color?  
  
Boy #3: I don't know, but I am anxious to find out. How 'bout you?  
  
Boy #4: Oh yeah. What do you say honey?  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo think that boys should go home before they get hurt.  
  
Boy #3: Oooh Feisty. Think this one might be a bit wild.  
  
Boy #2: Let's tame her huh?  
  
Mousse's knuckles turn white from his tight grip on the wheel. Finally he erupts.  
  
Mousse: You Dare Insult My Shampoo!  
  
Boy #2: Hey, check out four eyes over there. Scary.  
  
Boy #1: What are you going to do about it geek?  
  
The boys drive off laughing as the light turns green. Mousse's battle aura flares as he grips the wheel even harder. He guns the engine and takes off after the other car at 90 miles per hour.  
  
Boy #2: Hey he's chasing us!  
  
Boy #3: Gun it!  
  
The driver makes a hard right turn around the corner, and takes off.  
  
Mousse: You won't get away! Hah!  
  
Mousse draws his hand into his sleeve and produces a chain that he wraps around a telephone pole while making the same turn.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi's car  
  
Mr. Hiroshi is standing outside the car with his three students in front of him. Ranma has a large bump on his head, Akane looks 'upset' and Ukyo is staring at her feet.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Now we shall have no more mallets, making out or any other kind of problems as long as we are in this car understood?  
  
Akane/Ukyo/Ranma: Yes sensei.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Good. Now Mr. Saotome it is your turn. I expect no problems.  
  
The drive goes exceptionally well as Ranma performs all of the directions of Mr. Hiroshi.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Very good Mr. Saotome. Let's try something new. Park between those two cars.  
  
Ranma: No Problem.  
  
Ranma sets up for the parallel park and begins to move in reverse.  
  
Ranma: This is a cinch. This driving stuff is a piece of *THUMP* Akane's cake.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Too bad Ranma-kun. Well we shall try again tomorrow.  
  
The next few days  
  
Ranma: Gees Akane are you TRYING to kill us?  
  
Akane: You think you're so good HERE!  
  
Ranma: You idiot! Put the steering wheel back!  
  
Ukyo: Oh Ran-chan.  
  
Mr. Meyan: Mousse put up your window we are passing a sprinkler.  
  
Mousse: What?! *Splash* QUACK!  
  
Shampoo: Stupid Mousse.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Ok Ranma. Now back in slowly. *Thump* Too bad.  
  
Ranma: ARG!  
  
Mousse: Shampoo watch out!  
  
Shampoo: Shut up Mousse! People move out of way see?  
  
Mr. Meyan: Oh my.  
  
Last day  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Now students, this is your last class. Today, if you pass you will get a permit that will become a license next year. Good luck.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi's car leaves the parking lot leaving Mousse, Shampoo, and Mr. Meyan alone.  
  
Mr. Meyan: (arm in a sling) Congratulations you two passed. Have a nice life!  
  
Mousse: But we haven't taken the test yet.  
  
Mr. Meyan: That's just a formality, HERE, take these passing marks and go.  
  
Mousse and Shampoo look at each other, shrug, and leave with the slips.  
  
Mousse: Such a nice man wasn't he Shampoo?  
  
Shampoo: Very strange man, but good. Shampoo thank him with special ramen dish. He miss Shampoo.  
  
Back at the lot.  
  
Mr. Meyan: They are gone. They're gone. WOO HOO! I survived! My car is still in one piece! (he puts his hand on the car hood and it promptly implodes) WHAHH!!!  
  
Shampoo: See, he miss Shampoo already.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi's car  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Ok Ranma, this is the final part of your test. Parallel parking. Ms. Koji and Ms. Tendo have done it, so there is no reason you can't.  
  
Ranma steels himself.  
  
Ranma: This is it. I won't fail. *Splash*  
  
Happosai: Ahh, my sweet Ranma-chan! Hah hah!  
  
Ranma-chan: You old goat! How dare you!  
  
Happosai: You can't get me!  
  
Ranma-chan: That's what you think!  
  
Happosai jumps behind the car. Ranma backs up. Happosai jumps in front. Ranma pulls up. Finally Ranma has an idea. When Happosai jumps back behind the car Ranma speeds up and catches him between the bumpers of the two cars.  
  
Ranma-chan: You are mine you pervert!  
  
With that Ranma place kicks Happosai into the stratosphere.  
  
Mr. Hiroshi: Very good Ranma-ku uh-chan? Here you go all of you passed.  
  
Akane/Ukyo/Ranma-chan: YATA!  
  
Back at the Tendo dojo  
  
Kasumi, Nabiki, Genma, Soun, Ranma, and Akane are sitting around the table. Soun is crying. Normal day.  
  
Soun: My little Akane is driving now!  
  
Kasumi: Oh my. Father, you are getting the cake I made for Akane and Ranma all wet.  
  
Nabiki: Congratulations sis. Daddy calm down.  
  
Kasumi: Here's one for Akane, Ranma, and even a little one for your little pet Akane.  
  
Akane: Yes where is P-chan? I haven't seen him since last week.  
  
Ranma: I wonder where he got to?  
  
Somewhere on Mt. Fuji  
  
Ryoga\Louie: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE NOW?!  
  
This story was brought to you by me the Animekeeper. Any comments and or flames are welcome at Animekeeper1@yahoo.com. A special thanks goes out to my friend Mike who thought up some of the gags used in the cars. 


End file.
